Saturday, December 22, 2007

The Snow Drift Outside My WIndow

There is a blizzard raging outside. Just ask me, I had to go out and clean off my car. Blinding, and it has been doing this since 9 a.m. this morning. We celebrated Christmas today, two days early, because Audrey and Ryan will be with his family this year. The weather is, if not perfect, the ideal day to celebrate Christmas.
There is this wonderful snow drift outside me office window, coming off the retaining wall. it appears to be floating over the edge. What is holding it up, I have no idea. I am sure there is some meta-physical explanation for it, but I don't care. When I showed it to Rog, I asked, "What holds it up there?" He responded he didn't know and walked away. I however stood there and looked at it, and took a picture to remind me of something I realized.
I admire people who spend thier lives dealing with infirmaties, hardships, and heartaches, and don't seem to be phased by it. I wonder sometimes what and how they do it. What keeps them going, getting out of bed every day to face the same things; i.e. "What holds them up?"
Many times when you ask them, they will convey a sense of "going on" that just seems to be in them. Others speak of God and a profound faith that enables them to endure. As I stood looking at the drift, and wondering what "holds it up", I realized the same thing that holds them up. The structure of who they are enables them to stand strong against the gravity of the situation, and many times who they are is defined by giving credit to God and his love for them.
I have people tell me a lot that I am "a saint" the way I care for my mother--hardly, if they knew of the discouragement that hits me some days, and the resentmentt that goes along with it, they wouldn't be nearly impressed, but I do "hold up", because I firmly believe that this is what God wants me to do and He enables me to do it. I know I certainly couldn't do it under my own strength. Someday, looking back I will probably realize the "gravity" of the situation and realize even more that I didn't do anything in my own strength, but by the strength of the Spirit within me.