As I continue to read books and listen to books, I realize that the Holy Spirit is the only way we are ever going to be prepared for the battle that lies ahead. 

I know how the prophets felt. They got it. They understood it and they stood and screamed it, lived it, and acted it out for all to see, and still, people ignored them and continued to walk blindly off the cliff. 

God was using them to get people to listen, to repent and turn to Him, love Him, follow Him, to tell them that Jesus was coming! They wouldn't listen. There were those that did, and they made it into the book. There were probably those that did but didn't make it into the book. 

God loves us. 

God wants a relationship with us. 

That's it. Because we haven't read scripture and know the word of God, we don't have the first clue on how to have a relationship with God. We Don't KNOW! 

We don't know how to have a relationship with other people, let alone God. One thing I do know from reading the Bible is that those who had the kind of relationships with God that I want, Daniel, the prophets, the apostles, and others, they prayed. They sought God, all the time, every spare minute. They loved Him so much that every spare minute they had, and some not so spare, they spent in his presence, and reading His word. 

They functioned in the world, but the relationship with Christ came first. FIRST!!

My life will have to change. If I want God and the relationship that I've played at all my life, it is gonna have to change. 

May God Help me! 

 This has now become a diary. 

It is no longer public in any way shape or form. I will not be sharing my thoughts with the internet, the world, or whoever reads this. 

I need a place to write and put down my thoughts, and if no one else ever reads them I'm so totally alright with that. 

I just finished an audiobook, something I never thought I'd ever use, but am finding quite useful, and I am reminded of 2009 when our world, my world changed and turned completely upside down.  

Doesn't matter what the name of the book is. I could have written parts if not all of it. Not the back story, her's was terrible. UGH! But the lessons learned were mine too. 

There is no way on earth that I can ever believe that God will leave us as we are anymore than I know from reading the old testament that he would leave the Israelites in the desert. 

What I am having trouble with is how to navigate what I know God want's for us, and what I'm living with and in. 

You can tell people, they can read the same books, but until the Holy Spirit brings them to it and through it, it just simply isn't going to take. IT ISN'T!!! 

Prayer is something God has been speaking to me about for years. And he is teaching me about it now too. I'll never know it all, but the importance of it, the paramount importance of it, is something that the church, the home, the family, and anything Christian has left out. 

I am constantly looking at situations in the world I live in, and asking myself, why if we are Jesus' disciples and witnesses here, if we say we believe and follow are we so impotent in the Spiritual warfare that is thrust upon us every moment of every day. 

Are we presumptuous like the Israelites were in Ai? I think we are. I know that Biblical ignorance, arrogance, and pride, keep the Spirit of God from being able to work. 

I grow weary of the battle because I am not prepared for the battle. I have not trained for the battle. I have not studied battle strategy, I have not devoted myself to the preparation of the gospel. 

I am thinking about this and praying about this, and hoping with all my heart, that God can lift me up out of this funk I have been in for the last 13 years. 

Battles rage. I'm standing on the outside watching people go down with the ship. 

What is wrong with us.......ALL OF US!!! 

I haven't posted on here in a looooooong time......

Why? you ask?

Because of Facebook. I'll be honest, and admit that I get more instant gratification from Facebook than from blogging. Or I used to.

Used to be you could voice an opinion on Facebook, and share your thought on Facebook, and post things that were funny to you and no one cared if they didn't find them funny. But it isn't that way anymore. Over the past few years since the 2016 election, life has changed drastically and is more mean spirited and angry than I remember it ever being before. I don't have the freedom to do much on Facebook except family pictures or family news without it being misconstrued or misinterpreted. I get called out, told it isn't true, criticized, and reprimanded for voicing my opinion or thoughts. Everything has become so political, and ugly. Some folks, ONLY share political posts. If it were not virtual but real life they would be walking around carrying a picket sign like at a protest ALL. THE. TIME. Others are super spiritual where they post Biblical quotes or spiritual quotes, and then turn right around and post stuff that is so ugly or harsh, you wonder if they have been hacked.

That is human nature I have come to understand, and let 99% of it slide. I post very little to nothing, because of that. I follow certain groups that encourage me, and relate to my hobbies, but nothing more.

But I do have thoughts and feelings about certain things, and I am getting to an age where holding a pen and writing everything down in a journal like I used to do brings pain to my fingers, so I'm going to use this blog as a journal; no one reads it anyway.

Right now in our nation we are going through a pandemic and Facebook and every other social media site, including news sites are full of the Corona Virus opinions, news, lies, fabrications, etc. Our nation is shut down. Since the middle of March, there is nothing happening.....nothing. All sports, including professionals, are closed down. Schools have been canceled since spring break, with virtual school going on online for the kids at home. Businesses are closed down, restaurants are closed, people who can, are working from home and a new term called "social distancing" is referring to maintaining a 6 ft distance from anyone and everyone if you have to be out and about. Certain businesses are being deemed "essential" and some of those are ludicrous. You can't go to church, but you can buy liquor, have an abortion, or go to Walmart or Home Depot, or Lowes, or Sams or Costo. The small businessman is dying and the big box stores are raking it in. Amazon is overwhelmed with at-home orders of everything to the point that there is no longer two-day shipping; you get it when you get it.

This isn't just in the United States. It's worldwide. Millions have died. Millions more are sick and have recovered. But what started in China has spread around the world, and is now a worldwide pandemic.

It is heated, and I mean protests, fights, etc. that are breaking out because many believe that this is a politically motivated issue used to keep our current president from being re-elected.
Whether it is or not. Three men right here in our city are currently in the hospital fighting for their lives.

Roger and I have had little change in our lives. Rog is able to continue to work, and earn a living. Paul is able to continue to work and earn a living. Nic continues to work and earn a living and he and Leah's kids continue to go back and forth between parents and do their school online.

I am so very thankful to God for this fact. So many have been laid off, lost jobs, and are struggling to pay rent, buy food, and live.

The future is unsure, as the Center for Disease, and World Health Organization seem to be running the show, unless our government leaders go against what is advised. Some are, some are not.

Schools might resume in the fall, but how, exactly, is uncertain. They know they can't pack 40 kids into a classroom sitting right next to each other and do group activities, and share materials. The teacher's minds are about to explode with the recommendations that are being made and parents are getting up in arms as to what they are going to do with their children if they are released to return to work, but their kids can't return to school.

The face of our country is going to change, of the world. Some say this is all in preparation for the one-world government that is waiting in the wings to be implemented when Trump is out of office.

I'm old enough that I don't care. If I get it and die, I'm ready to go and look forward to being with Jesus. Roger feels the same. We consume very little, our expenses are much smaller, but it is hard if you have a family, especially if you have a family and can't bring home an income.

We sit and wait. We will continue to pray and wait.

The How To's of Parenting

I don't read "how too" books anymore, especially how to books on how to raise kids or anything to do with parenthood.

Been there, done that, didn't work the way they said it would.

I don't blame the authors of said books, but I've lived long enough to know and seen enough to realize that their kids aren't my kids.

I attended a homeschooling conference one time where a father of 8 got up to speak about raising kids. His words of advice stayed with me, I just wish I would have heeded them.

He started out explaining that when his first child was born, he was sure that just after a few years, he KNEW how to raise kids. After the second kid was born, he had to adjust a little, but still felt completely confident that he knew the best way to raise kids. Then the third and fourth came along, and more adjustments till he finally realized with numbers five and six that he didn't know anything and that by the time seven and eight rolled around he was so outnumbered, he just gave it to God and did the best he could.

He did share that after 8 children, there were as many ways to raise kids as there were kids. And because each kid is different there was no tried and true way to raise children. He did share one thing that I had heard from my very wise mother-in-law and that was every child is different, and that your job as the parent is to get to know and understand your kid. End of advice.

I just wish I had heeded them instead of reading all the stupid parenting books.

Every couple is different. Two different family dynamics come into play in a marriage, then add to the mix children from those two individuals and it's anybody's guess just what you're going to get.

Parenthood is a mystery that you have to solve. Or as I remind my daughter when she calls asking me a barrage of questions, "It's a crapshoot. Do your best and pray."

But my mother in law was right. Get to know your kids, study them, work to understand them, and then help them remember that they are unique individuals with God-given talents and gifts.

There, that's it. My parenting advice. The result of failing and succeeding as a parent.

Good luck!

Technology vs. books

My sister Anita shared a book with me a while back, an actual book. Not on Kindle or Nook, but an actual book with pages you turn and a spine. It had been quite awhile since I'd read an actual book. Most of my books are downloaded onto my kindle. 

This is the world we live in today, to save trees from having to be used in making paper, we have resorted to reading books on our technological devices.

It has it's perks, believe me. When Roger and I received our kindles years ago, the virtues of electronic reading devices were explained to us, and we like them so much that at Christmas this year I even bought Roger and upgraded version of the Kindle. I wrote about it here.

However, holding a book and reading it the other evening made me miss books; page turning, laying them down in an open position to come back too. The smell, the touch. Made me want to run right out and buy actual copies of many of the books I have on my shelves.

I have to admit that if I am in a used bookstore and find a book that I have on the Kindle that I especially liked, I buy it.

I've read enough doomsday material to know that when and if the end comes in my lifetime, an EMP will take out all of our technology and we will be thrust back into "the dark ages" (hardly), or as some consider them, where we will have to go back to living lives without cell phones, computers, and any and most technology. Yes, like when we were growing up if you're over a certain age. 

How in the world will we read books? That's right, the old-fashioned way.

I like my kindle app on my IPad, and I love having at my fingertips, thousands of books that I can carry with me anywhere I can take my IPad. I love being able to read at night when the only light in the room is the faint glow of my IPad. I think the Kindle and Nook, and other such devices are a blessing. But I do miss being able to share my books with folks who might not have Kindle, or Nook or whatever. In the past few months, I have read several books that I would have loved to share with others, by handing them my copy, but alas, I have no actual copy to share. 

The dilemma in that is sometimes my books don't get returned, even though there is a sticker or return address label in the front reminding the borrower just who's book it is. But when I loan a book, I know that it is a possibility that it might not get returned. Thus, it is nice to have the backup copy on my Kindle. 

For when you can take a book and place it in someone's hand, the possibility of them actually reading it increases over them just being told to look it up and read it....I'd say it seldom is followed through on.

I'll keep buying books on both my Kindle and actual books.

I love rooms with bookshelves lined with books; libraries I believe they used to be called. There is something comforting in having row upon row of books at my disposal, and I do.

I have how-to books, something that is rare these days with the invention of Google and Wikipedia. You can search the internet and get an answer to any question, you can even go to YouTube and see how it is done....but I still like my books. 

Fortunately, we don't have to make a definitive choice yet, and I'm hoping I'm long gone when that day comes because I wouldn't want to. So in the meantime, I'll have the best of both worlds.