Technology vs. books

My sister Anita shared a book with me a while back, an actual book. Not on Kindle or Nook, but an actual book with pages you turn and a spine. It had been quite awhile since I'd read an actual book. Most of my books are downloaded onto my kindle. 

This is the world we live in today, to save trees from having to be used in making paper, we have resorted to reading books on our technological devices.

It has it's perks, believe me. When Roger and I received our kindles years ago, the virtues of electronic reading devices were explained to us, and we like them so much that at Christmas this year I even bought Roger and upgraded version of the Kindle. I wrote about it here.

However, holding a book and reading it the other evening made me miss books; page turning, laying them down in an open position to come back too. The smell, the touch. Made me want to run right out and buy actual copies of many of the books I have on my shelves.

I have to admit that if I am in a used bookstore and find a book that I have on the Kindle that I especially liked, I buy it.

I've read enough doomsday material to know that when and if the end comes in my lifetime, an EMP will take out all of our technology and we will be thrust back into "the dark ages" (hardly), or as some consider them, where we will have to go back to living lives without cell phones, computers, and any and most technology. Yes, like when we were growing up if you're over a certain age. 

How in the world will we read books? That's right, the old-fashioned way.

I like my kindle app on my IPad, and I love having at my fingertips, thousands of books that I can carry with me anywhere I can take my IPad. I love being able to read at night when the only light in the room is the faint glow of my IPad. I think the Kindle and Nook, and other such devices are a blessing. But I do miss being able to share my books with folks who might not have Kindle, or Nook or whatever. In the past few months, I have read several books that I would have loved to share with others, by handing them my copy, but alas, I have no actual copy to share. 

The dilemma in that is sometimes my books don't get returned, even though there is a sticker or return address label in the front reminding the borrower just who's book it is. But when I loan a book, I know that it is a possibility that it might not get returned. Thus, it is nice to have the backup copy on my Kindle. 

For when you can take a book and place it in someone's hand, the possibility of them actually reading it increases over them just being told to look it up and read it....I'd say it seldom is followed through on.

I'll keep buying books on both my Kindle and actual books.

I love rooms with bookshelves lined with books; libraries I believe they used to be called. There is something comforting in having row upon row of books at my disposal, and I do.

I have how-to books, something that is rare these days with the invention of Google and Wikipedia. You can search the internet and get an answer to any question, you can even go to YouTube and see how it is done....but I still like my books. 

Fortunately, we don't have to make a definitive choice yet, and I'm hoping I'm long gone when that day comes because I wouldn't want to. So in the meantime, I'll have the best of both worlds.

Who's gonna throw that first stone?

So, Lifeway Christian bookstores are refusing to carry Jen Hatmaker’s books anymore because they say she is supporting the gay lifestyle.

I read what she wrote. I saw where she is supportive of those in the gay lifestyle, I support and love those in the gay lifestyle as well, but not because they are gay. Except at the end where she said that gay relationships could be holy. THAT I differ with her on. But not because they are gay.

Because sin, any sin, Jen, can’t be holy. Nope, just won’t work. 

Homosexuality is a sin, just like lying, gossip, malic, cheating, anger, hatred, selfishness, murder, adultery, stealing, fornication, coveting……….and the list goes on.

We like to categorize sin however, some sins are worse than others we tell ourselves.

 Nope, ALL have sinned.

And don’t tell me that because homosexuals continue in their sin that is the problem. What about those of us that sit in the pew every Sunday that are addicted to food, alcohol, pornography, working out, spending money we don’t have, gossiping at work, complaining and being bitter every day. That would cover most of the people I know. Doesn’t that have to stop? Everyone has failures in their lives that they continue to do Every. Single. Day. If someone followed you around for a day, just what do you do daily that would be sin? Discipline is the issue for most of us, but doesn’t that fall under lack of self-control? That's listed as a sin too. We all struggle with that.

My mother in law was confined to a wheelchair for over 30 years. Being the wife of a preacher put her in situations many times where people where offering to pray for her to be healed. She related to me that one time when a group of folks gathered around her wanting to pray for her healing, she told them: 

“All of us need healing. Emotional, Spiritual, Mental, and Physical. Mine is just outward where you can see it. But just because you can’t see the sickness in others doesn’t mean that they don’t need you to pray for their healing just as much as I do.” 

I loved my mother in law. Wise woman.

The story of the woman caught in adultery comes to mind. Who is “without sin”, and able to cast the first stone.  MERCY!!!

Sin is sin. Paul wrote that “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” People use the “all” when it suits them, but they don’t stop to think about the glory; and falling short.

Who is God that he deserves the Glory? He is Holy. A Holy God deserves all the glory we can give him. But we fall short. Perhaps we are more focused on the sinner and the sin, than who they are really sinning against.

In the story of the adulterous woman Jesus directed everyone’s attention back to who it was who was REALLY being offended by the adulterous woman’s sin, and it wasn’t anyone in the crowd, and Jesus didn’t stone her.

We all have fallen short, and are all sick and in need of healing. We are all failing in our lives in one way or another. When you throw your sin in my face, and tell me you don’t care and you will continue in that choice, yes, I am going to tell you you are wrong, not because of your particular sin. Not because I’m perfect. But because God is a Holy God.

We are exhorted to restore and be gentle in the exhortation of those who have lost their focus on God. And that is what it is. When someone has lost their focus on our Holy God, a God of love, compassion, and mercy, we are supposed to be sign posts, and helpers to lead them back.  

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. ³ If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Gal 6:1-3

It is my job to love you, and encourage you, even admonish you, to not look at the wind and waves about you but to look to Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith. The one who, because we fall short came to save us. He is the author and perfecter of my faith as well. My weak, failing, banged up faith that I work daily to strengthen at the foot of his cross.

 I’ll go there with you, fellow failure, and we will seek to give our Holy God the glory He is due. And we will seek the healing that only He can give.

May God have mercy on us.......

Hurry UP!!!

There was a time when Life wasn’t “hurry up!”

But I can’t remember when.

Generational hurrying…..that is what it is.

You push forward, and hurry. Are you running away from, getting away from something so painful you don’t want to give it time to catch you? So you keep hurrying forward, and it is generational, and you have been doing it for so long, you don’t even know why anymore, and you’ve done it for so long, that you find it hard not to………hurry up.

I know why she hurried. I know why she didn’t want to get caught; why she ran from the memories and the sorrows. They would be overwhelming, and overcoming, and heart wrenching and heartbreaking, so she kept hurrying and kept going, and didn’t look back unless she had to. And the tears and the anger they always came when she did, so she just kept moving, and busy, and hurried, and drug us along behind, until we had been trained to catch up with her, and even surpass her. And that same urgency was ingrained in us. 

I do it still.

And I don’t even know why.

When I think of “the back then”, the “behind me”, I cry too, but not so much from the sorrow, but from the hurry that blurred my vision, and robbed me of………….more than I can list.

“Time waits for no man.”  So we hurry…….

Because of this hurrying, I do not have the capacity to see so many things; I’m blind. I don’t have the capacity to hear so many things; I’m deaf. I don’t even feel so much because the senses are dulled from the speed that has propelled me forward for so long, that I can’t stop. Stopping, it actually feels so wrong I can worry myself sick with the idea of doing it.

I have so much to stop for though, to relish, to steep in, but that urge inside of me, that constant inner push is there, and I can’t make it…..STOP!! It’s a feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me feel guilty when I sit down and read in the middle of the day, or just sit outside and admire the color green, and the sounds of the birds, and the warmth. That inner churning deep down in my belly that

 WON’T. LET. ME. STOP.

If I put my feet down to slow down this ride, I’m sure they would wear right off. Then I’d be footless, which would only complicate my ability to keep moving and hurrying. It’s awful.

The rest of the world is doing it too, and to have friends, you sort of have to do it ...hurry and keep up. In so many ways, we are all hurrying and trying to keep up.

I don’t know if it is because of my time in life, or what, but I am tired of hurrying, and I grow wearier of it every day. The guilt that comes with sitting will just have to burn in my belly and my brain until it burns a hole, or goes away, cause I am finding I simply haven’t got the physical ability to hurry anymore, even though my mind is still miles and miles, if not years ahead.

My sister said she wants a brain transplant to enable us to stop….so many of those things that we are hurrying to get done, or get to. We both chuckle, because at our age, we sort of know what that might entail, and yeah, well no. But we agree, it would be good if there were a switch.

So maybe the beginning is being aware of the hurry; the rush, maybe that is where it begins to stop.

Maybe….

Parenting from this side......

If you know me, you know that I have kept my grandson since he was born, on a regular basis, while my son and daughter-in-love work and go to school. This has thrust me back into rubbing shoulders with young mothers at library story time, church, and pre-school.

Now I know that everyone is different, and that we all handle the things that come in life differently. But somewhere along the way, I’ve become somewhat captivated with how the younger generation is “handling” things. The internet is playing a HUGE role in this. I have read and perused dozens of websites and blogs written by many young parents, especially mothers, about how they are handling life. I find this interesting, a study, so to speak in human nature. Trust me when I say that I am perfectly aware that what someone writes on a blog or a website can be manipulated and embellished to the point that there is little reality there at all, but I also know that under every lie, exaggeration, or “story” there is also a bit of truth and reality

.

I have often bemoaned the fact that the internet wasn’t around when my kids were growing up because there is so much out there that would have been tremendously helpful when my kids, being 15 months apart, were very small; assurance, validation, support, and encouragement, but then when my kids were very young, I would not have had time for the internet.

I was also told by one young woman, a mother of three, when I commented to her to this effect, that it can be a blessing, but also a curse. I understood, because we are prone to compare ourselves to others, and I can’t help but wonder if that isn’t what all this is really about.

A slippery slope to say the least. Comparing ourselves to others has taken on a global influence, something that I’m pretty sure isn’t a good thing. I cannot imagine comparing my life, children, and child rearing techniques to those of someone, say in New York or Japan. I used to struggle just looking at close, local friends, let alone the entire world of blogging and websites that so many young women are reading and writing these days.  

I do see the boost that these parents get from this though. We all need encouragement in whatever we are doing. We all need to know that even when what we have done appears to be a huge mistake, that our children are probably less scarred by it than we think. We all need the support to get out of bed and keep going on those days of utter exhaustion after a night of sick little ones, and none or very little sleep. But this constancy of it, and it can be constant with a hand held device, I’m afraid can be dangerous.

I also see where because of this so many of these young parents are looking to each other for the support and advice they feel they need, and not necessarily those who have actually walked through it and come out the other side.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no expert on raising kids, trust me, that has been driven home to me more than once, but there are some things in all this that I see, that if I had the opportunity to share a cup of coffee with these  folks, and talk to them, this is what I would tell them.

    1) There are no exacts with child raising. One method used on one child is probably not going to work on the next one. Every child is different. Your job, is to study the child and get to know them. This takes time. It is a priceless investment that pays HUGE rewards. It’s called relationship.

    2)Your children are watching and listening to you. They hear that tone in your voice when you are speaking about or to someone.  They know if you are exaggerating or embellishing a story to garner attention. They can spot a phony a mile away. Listen to yourself when you speak, because later you will hear yourself coming out of those little mouths.

    3)  Stop doing too much. You heard me. Most of us, at any age are over extended in our lives. We are trying to do too much. We have trouble saying no; except to our kids. We get ourselves overextended which is why we tell ourselves we need a vacation, a break. Get your time back and you won’t need a vacation you can’t afford, or a break from those who you love. You know the acronym for B.U.S.Y.? Burdened Under Satan’s Yoke…

     4) Clean up your house. Yes, I said clean up your house. It isn’t about cleanliness, it isn’t even about neatness, it is about structure, and organization. Children thrive in structure. Environment plays a huge role in a child’s life and yes I’m talking about their physical environment. When they see you take control of your and their environment they know they are with someone they can count on and trust, bringing security.

      5)  Stop doing what you “WANT”. That’s right, harsh words, I know. The excuse that you are making more money so you can take that vacation, fix up your house, drive a better car, so the kids will be better off……….news flash, they don’t care if they go on vacation, live in a bigger house, or drive a better car. Their needs are simple and as follows:  Mom, Dad, food, clothing, time and love.

    6) That’s right. I heard someone say one time that children spell LOVE, T-I-M-E. I’ve also heard the old saying “time is money”. But I will tell you either way, time is valuable. You will either pay now or pay later.

    7)    And last but not least, stop comparing. Stop comparing houses, clothes, cars, jobs, income, attitudes, abilities, and each other. If you want the ultimate and best example to compare yourself to--Jesus. And when you realize by doing that, that you are a complete and total failure in EVERY department. You will be right where He can really do with you, your time, and your family, exactly what you were REALLY wanting all along.  Strive for THAT, and there will be no need for any comparison in any area. 

I reiterate here that I am not an expert in child rearing. And I am quite confident that there are going to be some things here that will offend, and put some people off. But many times the truth about ourselves is a difficult thing to face. I’ve learned that first hand too, just keep reading.

I have been shocked and amazed by some of my children’s choices and decisions as adults. Something that I’m sure if I had developed certain relationships with them in some vital areas while they were very small they very possibly would not have made and be making those said choices.

I have cringed in recent years to hear my voice and comments come out of my adult children’s mouths. I know from personal heartbreak, that in time, those things will not serve them well and I pray they learn that without living with the same mistakes and regrets I have.

I knew structure was important to children, and schedule was maintained most of the time while they were growing up. Daily routines were followed, including making of beds, washing dishes, and picking up the house. They tell me now that those things taught them a great deal about structure, time management, organizational skills, work ethic and gave them a sense of security.

However, I found myself some days resenting the quantifiable time I had to spend just investing in my kids; especially when they were very small. I did nothing, it seemed, for myself. There simply wasn’t time. So when they did became more independent I jumped at the chance to do things I wanted to, things, that looking back were of no value except to me. Yes I needed an outlet, but I should have been more careful as to the time and effort it took. The words coming out of their mouths “I don’t WANT TO!” were often times the cry of my heart too.  Making a child AND yourself do something you don’t WANT to do or doing something you HAVE to do, is probably the hardest part of being a parent.

There was never enough money. Roger worked so hard, all day, extra jobs at night, but it all seemed to go somewhere, and looking back I know that it was mostly because the I DON’T WANT TO, took precedent over what should have been.

I grew up being told to compare myself to my three older sisters; what I wore, my hair, my makeup, my grades, my activities, so I didn’t do too much of anything without first comparing myself to someone. If you compare, your children will grow up comparing themselves with others, and be afraid to trust in their own instincts and abilities which only breeds redundancy and boredom.  Encourage their abilities and talents, even if they don’t fit your mold. Let them know that being different isn’t necessarily wrong; sometimes it is just different.

All that said, the most important thing I would say to these young parents who feel that they are drowning in work, jobs, children and childhood happenings is to PRAY. It can be done changing a diaper, nursing a baby, picking up toys, opening the mail, cleaning and scrubbing, doing laundry, breaking up a fight, driving the car, and it is free, it doesn’t cost a thing, and it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE and the life of everyone around you!

Talk to Jesus. He hears you, and best of all, He already knows what you’re going to tell Him. He already knows that you feel like a failure, or you’re so tired you’re about to snap, or your lonely and dying for some adult input in your life. He knows that you are actually feeling overwhelmed, would love to start over completely, but don’t have a clue how to do it. He knows.

I found the following verse when my children were little. I grabbed onto it like a life preserver, reminding Him that He said he would be gentle with me. He was and He still is. Where would I be without his compassionate grace and mercy? As usual the answer always rests with Jesus.

Isaiah 40:11

¹¹ He will feed his flock like a shepherd, he will gather the lambs in his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and will gently lead those that have their young.

One Thousand Gifts...a Review

There are certain books that you read in life that when you do read them think them the best kept secret known to man. You go back and re-read them, maybe all or parts. Hinds Feet on High Places, The Prodigal God, The Jesus I Never Knew, What’s so Amazing about Grace, those are a few of mine.

Now I have another one.

One Thousand Gifts by Anne Voskamp is one of those books. If you have checked my links at all, the ones that I check and read every day for inspiration, cheer, encouragement, and all those things that we in the family of God are supposed to do for one another, you will find Holy Experience there.

Sometimes people write books that you read and they are you, verbalizing in a way you can’t. Saying what you have learned, are experiencing, and you wonder if perhaps your dilemmas in this place are not that uncommon to more folk than you realize.

Hardships, sorrow’s, heartbreak, we have experienced them, but how do we respond, what do we learn, take away from them? Maybe we know what we should learn and take away, but do we remember and retain and keep and cherish those lessons learned? You will find answers in here from a fellow traveler who has found the door and is holding it open for the rest of us to go through, being that signpost that we are all called to be—“this is the way, walk in it.”

I was a fan of Ann Voskamp before. Her daily writing has become a small part of my devotions each day to focus my mind on loving God with all my heart, soul, and might. I am even more impressed and encouraged by her willingness to lead the way through the aftermath of the mire life can become, by sharing her story, and the lessons learned, and remembered, and followed. But most of all by the Christ she points to.

You will cry, you will grin, and you will feel it deep inside you as you read and relate and thank God, and Praise Him for these words that have come from a place of deep truth born of deeper sorrow. Just the beginning of being Thankful.
If you are experiencing dark days, the darkest you couldn’t even imagined, or you have experienced such days, and come through praying that nothing like that ever repeats itself, this book is for you, for it reminds us of the most important thing of “giving thanks in all circumstances” and why……..yes, why…….the most important part.

Traveling........

The best kind of travel…………leaving the arms of one person you love to enter the arms of another person you love.

"You should be ashamed of yourselves."

The firestorm around the Miss USA Pagent is working in Donald Trump’s favor. As usual, he is cashing in on the media hype, but I couldn’t help but grin when I heard him say to the media what so many people have wanted to say to them in so many different situations.

Trump said Carrie Prejean's comments about same-sex marriage were blown out of proportion – not because of the grand stage where her comments were made – but because of her beauty. He blamed the media for making a big deal out of the situation. (I hardly think it had anything to do with her beauty, but with her opinion differing with the media!)

"If she were a very nice looking young woman, if she were an average woman, if she were an average man, if she were a great looking man, it wouldn't have mattered, nobody would have cared because this subject has been discussed by everybody from politicians, presidents, everybody. If Carrie weren't so beautiful, this would never have come," said Trump. "Carrie is totally beautiful, and her answer, because of that, took on greater importance. Unfortunately, that's the way the press works. You should be ashamed of yourselves."

Trump also defended the answer Prejean gave at the April 19 Miss USA pageant. She was asked her view of marriage by blogger Perez Hilton. Prejean said she believes marriage is between a man and a woman.

"It's the same answer the president of the United States gave," Trump said. "It's the same answer many people gave. She gave an honorable answer. She gave an answer from her heart, and I think for that she has to be commended."

"On April 19 on that stage I exercised my freedom of speech, and I was punished for doing so," said Prejean.

I found the whole thing a farce—from the pageant on down. It’s a money maker or Donald Trump wouldn’t have gotten involved, and he also wouldn’t be pointing out in interview after interview how his pageant is still on the air while Miss America has gone “ka-putz”; I believe is the way he put it.

What I also found interesting was how many news site, web sites I had to scan to finally find the actual quote.That’s right, the part where he pointed out the bias in the media, and that they should be ashamed of themselves. I finally found it on some remote TV web site. Most articles excluded that particular part of the interview.

Everyone in America knows that no matter how much “journalistic integrity” the media tries to spout, when they pull a stunt like this, which has one of their most revered shaking his finger at them, they can’t really cry foul, but they sure edit, and bury the quote so it gets lost.

There isn’t much I could find to agree with Donald Trump about, but this—yes I agree with him, the media should be ashamed of themselves—and not just for this offense.