The How To's of Parenting

I don't read "how too" books anymore, especially how to books on how to raise kids or anything to do with parenthood.

Been there, done that, didn't work the way they said it would.

I don't blame the authors of said books, but I've lived long enough to know and seen enough to realize that their kids aren't my kids.

I attended a homeschooling conference one time where a father of 8 got up to speak about raising kids. His words of advice stayed with me, I just wish I would have heeded them.

He started out explaining that when his first child was born, he was sure that just after a few years, he KNEW how to raise kids. After the second kid was born, he had to adjust a little, but still felt completely confident that he knew the best way to raise kids. Then the third and fourth came along, and more adjustments till he finally realized with numbers five and six that he didn't know anything and that by the time seven and eight rolled around he was so outnumbered, he just gave it to God and did the best he could.

He did share that after 8 children, there were as many ways to raise kids as there were kids. And because each kid is different there was no tried and true way to raise children. He did share one thing that I had heard from my very wise mother-in-law and that was every child is different, and that your job as the parent is to get to know and understand your kid. End of advice.

I just wish I had heeded them instead of reading all the stupid parenting books.

Every couple is different. Two different family dynamics come into play in a marriage, then add to the mix children from those two individuals and it's anybody's guess just what you're going to get.

Parenthood is a mystery that you have to solve. Or as I remind my daughter when she calls asking me a barrage of questions, "It's a crapshoot. Do your best and pray."

But my mother in law was right. Get to know your kids, study them, work to understand them, and then help them remember that they are unique individuals with God-given talents and gifts.

There, that's it. My parenting advice. The result of failing and succeeding as a parent.

Good luck!

Technology vs. books

My sister Anita shared a book with me a while back, an actual book. Not on Kindle or Nook, but an actual book with pages you turn and a spine. It had been quite awhile since I'd read an actual book. Most of my books are downloaded onto my kindle. 

This is the world we live in today, to save trees from having to be used in making paper, we have resorted to reading books on our technological devices.

It has it's perks, believe me. When Roger and I received our kindles years ago, the virtues of electronic reading devices were explained to us, and we like them so much that at Christmas this year I even bought Roger and upgraded version of the Kindle. I wrote about it here.

However, holding a book and reading it the other evening made me miss books; page turning, laying them down in an open position to come back too. The smell, the touch. Made me want to run right out and buy actual copies of many of the books I have on my shelves.

I have to admit that if I am in a used bookstore and find a book that I have on the Kindle that I especially liked, I buy it.

I've read enough doomsday material to know that when and if the end comes in my lifetime, an EMP will take out all of our technology and we will be thrust back into "the dark ages" (hardly), or as some consider them, where we will have to go back to living lives without cell phones, computers, and any and most technology. Yes, like when we were growing up if you're over a certain age. 

How in the world will we read books? That's right, the old-fashioned way.

I like my kindle app on my IPad, and I love having at my fingertips, thousands of books that I can carry with me anywhere I can take my IPad. I love being able to read at night when the only light in the room is the faint glow of my IPad. I think the Kindle and Nook, and other such devices are a blessing. But I do miss being able to share my books with folks who might not have Kindle, or Nook or whatever. In the past few months, I have read several books that I would have loved to share with others, by handing them my copy, but alas, I have no actual copy to share. 

The dilemma in that is sometimes my books don't get returned, even though there is a sticker or return address label in the front reminding the borrower just who's book it is. But when I loan a book, I know that it is a possibility that it might not get returned. Thus, it is nice to have the backup copy on my Kindle. 

For when you can take a book and place it in someone's hand, the possibility of them actually reading it increases over them just being told to look it up and read it....I'd say it seldom is followed through on.

I'll keep buying books on both my Kindle and actual books.

I love rooms with bookshelves lined with books; libraries I believe they used to be called. There is something comforting in having row upon row of books at my disposal, and I do.

I have how-to books, something that is rare these days with the invention of Google and Wikipedia. You can search the internet and get an answer to any question, you can even go to YouTube and see how it is done....but I still like my books. 

Fortunately, we don't have to make a definitive choice yet, and I'm hoping I'm long gone when that day comes because I wouldn't want to. So in the meantime, I'll have the best of both worlds.

America's Pastor

"Andrea, Billy Graham is on channel 12."

My grandmother would call everytime a Billy Graham crusade was televised in our area reminding my mother and me to watch it.....and ultimately hoping and praying for my salvation.

I did hear Billy Graham preach in person. In 1972 at the Cotton Bowl in Denton TX. at Expo '72. He was everything you can imagine him. Yet, all you saw and heard was how much God and Jesus loved you and wanted you to come to a personal relationship with Him.

Billy Graham died today.

America's pastor, they called him.

My first thought was the verse in 1 Samuel 25:1
 

"Then Samuel died, and all the Israelites gathered together to mourn him,

 and buried him at his home in Ramah."  

We may not gather together physically as a nation, but emotionally and spiritually we will gather in heart and mind and spirit and mourn a great man of God.

I likened him to the great men of God in Scripture. A disciple who did exactly what Jesus told them to do in Mark 16:15,

"Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation." 

The simple message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ: 

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. 

For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him." John 3:16-17 

He stressed over and over that God loved us and if we would turn from our sins and come to Him, He forgives and saves. 

 "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved." - Acts 16:31 

"Repent for the kingdom of Heaven is at hand!" -- Matt 3:2

Somewhere along the way we have minimized the idea that God loves us so much that Jesus, His only son, died for us. Think about it. Has anyone ever stood in your place for anything? Notch it up and realize Christ died for YOU--for you. He loves you that much. 

This past week 17 individuals died in a school shooting in Florida. One of the teachers literally threw himself in front of the shooter and took several bullets to keep kids from getting shot. He died. That's what Jesus did. He died in our place. What a perfect example...

"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." --John 15:13 

Help us Lord, to realize the love of Almighty God -- whose love endures forever-- our compassionate and merciful God. Help us to love you like that.