Just a Recorder - Not a writer

I have a friend who is author. She writes books, gets them published and sells them. 

I had another friend who, before her death, also wrote short stories, article for periodicals and was working on a book. 

I am not not a author, nor a writer. I am a recorder of sorts. I record things that happen to me, my family and sometimes, with their permission, friends. I write down my thoughts, though not profound, I warrant them enough so to record them so I can go back and reread them at a later time. 

I will warn you right now though, that many of my thoughts are on the Biblical Christian side of things. Take this as you will, leave right now, but don't say you haven't been warned. 

This is my first post in four years. 

That's right----- four years. 

I couldn't believe it myself but it's true. I admit during that time I got caught up in social media; Facebook, Instagram, and others. But they have all lost their luster. Or I should say have lost the connectiveness that I had enjoyed when it first began. 

Keeping in touch with friends on a daily, weekly basis, seeing their families was a really wonderful thing. However, along with it came the arguments that seemed to grow worse with each election, and subsequent  elected official. 

I began to notice that less and less folks were actually posting about their families as horror stories of pictures of children were showing up on child porn sights. Privacy, though lost was grappled for yet again. Unfortunately, it was already lost. If its out there, it's anyone's. I have always seen myself as such an insignificant person in the millions out there that I never really felt threatened, but hearing the horror stories, I began to par back as well. 

The social media has become a place for nothing more than opinions being expressed and arguments being started, and really while everyone is shouting, no one is really even listening....  

Thus, I am back to the blogging. It's very likely that no one will see it, and that's fine, but I've always preferred talking to myself anyway. ;)

So here is my first post in 4 years and we will hope for many more to follow. 

 As I continue to read books and listen to books, I realize that the Holy Spirit is the only way we are ever going to be prepared for the battle that lies ahead. 

I know how the prophets felt. They got it. They understood it and they stood and screamed it, lived it, and acted it out for all to see, and still, people ignored them and continued to walk blindly off the cliff. 

God was using them to get people to listen, to repent and turn to Him, love Him, follow Him, to tell them that Jesus was coming! They wouldn't listen. There were those that did, and they made it into the book. There were probably those that did but didn't make it into the book. 

God loves us. 

God wants a relationship with us. 

That's it. Because we haven't read scripture and know the word of God, we don't have the first clue on how to have a relationship with God. We Don't KNOW! 

We don't know how to have a relationship with other people, let alone God. One thing I do know from reading the Bible is that those who had the kind of relationships with God that I want, Daniel, the prophets, the apostles, and others, they prayed. They sought God, all the time, every spare minute. They loved Him so much that every spare minute they had, and some not so spare, they spent in his presence, and reading His word. 

They functioned in the world, but the relationship with Christ came first. FIRST!!

My life will have to change. If I want God and the relationship that I've played at all my life, it is gonna have to change. 

May God Help me! 

 This has now become a diary. 

It is no longer public in any way shape or form. I will not be sharing my thoughts with the internet, the world, or whoever reads this. 

I need a place to write and put down my thoughts, and if no one else ever reads them I'm so totally alright with that. 

I just finished an audiobook, something I never thought I'd ever use, but am finding quite useful, and I am reminded of 2009 when our world, my world changed and turned completely upside down.  

Doesn't matter what the name of the book is. I could have written parts if not all of it. Not the back story, her's was terrible. UGH! But the lessons learned were mine too. 

There is no way on earth that I can ever believe that God will leave us as we are anymore than I know from reading the old testament that he would leave the Israelites in the desert. 

What I am having trouble with is how to navigate what I know God want's for us, and what I'm living with and in. 

You can tell people, they can read the same books, but until the Holy Spirit brings them to it and through it, it just simply isn't going to take. IT ISN'T!!! 

Prayer is something God has been speaking to me about for years. And he is teaching me about it now too. I'll never know it all, but the importance of it, the paramount importance of it, is something that the church, the home, the family, and anything Christian has left out. 

I am constantly looking at situations in the world I live in, and asking myself, why if we are Jesus' disciples and witnesses here, if we say we believe and follow are we so impotent in the Spiritual warfare that is thrust upon us every moment of every day. 

Are we presumptuous like the Israelites were in Ai? I think we are. I know that Biblical ignorance, arrogance, and pride, keep the Spirit of God from being able to work. 

I grow weary of the battle because I am not prepared for the battle. I have not trained for the battle. I have not studied battle strategy, I have not devoted myself to the preparation of the gospel. 

I am thinking about this and praying about this, and hoping with all my heart, that God can lift me up out of this funk I have been in for the last 13 years. 

Battles rage. I'm standing on the outside watching people go down with the ship. 

What is wrong with us.......ALL OF US!!! 

I haven't posted on here in a looooooong time......

Why? you ask?

Because of Facebook. I'll be honest, and admit that I get more instant gratification from Facebook than from blogging. Or I used to.

Used to be you could voice an opinion on Facebook, and share your thought on Facebook, and post things that were funny to you and no one cared if they didn't find them funny. But it isn't that way anymore. Over the past few years since the 2016 election, life has changed drastically and is more mean spirited and angry than I remember it ever being before. I don't have the freedom to do much on Facebook except family pictures or family news without it being misconstrued or misinterpreted. I get called out, told it isn't true, criticized, and reprimanded for voicing my opinion or thoughts. Everything has become so political, and ugly. Some folks, ONLY share political posts. If it were not virtual but real life they would be walking around carrying a picket sign like at a protest ALL. THE. TIME. Others are super spiritual where they post Biblical quotes or spiritual quotes, and then turn right around and post stuff that is so ugly or harsh, you wonder if they have been hacked.

That is human nature I have come to understand, and let 99% of it slide. I post very little to nothing, because of that. I follow certain groups that encourage me, and relate to my hobbies, but nothing more.

But I do have thoughts and feelings about certain things, and I am getting to an age where holding a pen and writing everything down in a journal like I used to do brings pain to my fingers, so I'm going to use this blog as a journal; no one reads it anyway.

Right now in our nation we are going through a pandemic and Facebook and every other social media site, including news sites are full of the Corona Virus opinions, news, lies, fabrications, etc. Our nation is shut down. Since the middle of March, there is nothing happening.....nothing. All sports, including professionals, are closed down. Schools have been canceled since spring break, with virtual school going on online for the kids at home. Businesses are closed down, restaurants are closed, people who can, are working from home and a new term called "social distancing" is referring to maintaining a 6 ft distance from anyone and everyone if you have to be out and about. Certain businesses are being deemed "essential" and some of those are ludicrous. You can't go to church, but you can buy liquor, have an abortion, or go to Walmart or Home Depot, or Lowes, or Sams or Costo. The small businessman is dying and the big box stores are raking it in. Amazon is overwhelmed with at-home orders of everything to the point that there is no longer two-day shipping; you get it when you get it.

This isn't just in the United States. It's worldwide. Millions have died. Millions more are sick and have recovered. But what started in China has spread around the world, and is now a worldwide pandemic.

It is heated, and I mean protests, fights, etc. that are breaking out because many believe that this is a politically motivated issue used to keep our current president from being re-elected.
Whether it is or not. Three men right here in our city are currently in the hospital fighting for their lives.

Roger and I have had little change in our lives. Rog is able to continue to work, and earn a living. Paul is able to continue to work and earn a living. Nic continues to work and earn a living and he and Leah's kids continue to go back and forth between parents and do their school online.

I am so very thankful to God for this fact. So many have been laid off, lost jobs, and are struggling to pay rent, buy food, and live.

The future is unsure, as the Center for Disease, and World Health Organization seem to be running the show, unless our government leaders go against what is advised. Some are, some are not.

Schools might resume in the fall, but how, exactly, is uncertain. They know they can't pack 40 kids into a classroom sitting right next to each other and do group activities, and share materials. The teacher's minds are about to explode with the recommendations that are being made and parents are getting up in arms as to what they are going to do with their children if they are released to return to work, but their kids can't return to school.

The face of our country is going to change, of the world. Some say this is all in preparation for the one-world government that is waiting in the wings to be implemented when Trump is out of office.

I'm old enough that I don't care. If I get it and die, I'm ready to go and look forward to being with Jesus. Roger feels the same. We consume very little, our expenses are much smaller, but it is hard if you have a family, especially if you have a family and can't bring home an income.

We sit and wait. We will continue to pray and wait.

The How To's of Parenting

I don't read "how too" books anymore, especially how to books on how to raise kids or anything to do with parenthood.

Been there, done that, didn't work the way they said it would.

I don't blame the authors of said books, but I've lived long enough to know and seen enough to realize that their kids aren't my kids.

I attended a homeschooling conference one time where a father of 8 got up to speak about raising kids. His words of advice stayed with me, I just wish I would have heeded them.

He started out explaining that when his first child was born, he was sure that just after a few years, he KNEW how to raise kids. After the second kid was born, he had to adjust a little, but still felt completely confident that he knew the best way to raise kids. Then the third and fourth came along, and more adjustments till he finally realized with numbers five and six that he didn't know anything and that by the time seven and eight rolled around he was so outnumbered, he just gave it to God and did the best he could.

He did share that after 8 children, there were as many ways to raise kids as there were kids. And because each kid is different there was no tried and true way to raise children. He did share one thing that I had heard from my very wise mother-in-law and that was every child is different, and that your job as the parent is to get to know and understand your kid. End of advice.

I just wish I had heeded them instead of reading all the stupid parenting books.

Every couple is different. Two different family dynamics come into play in a marriage, then add to the mix children from those two individuals and it's anybody's guess just what you're going to get.

Parenthood is a mystery that you have to solve. Or as I remind my daughter when she calls asking me a barrage of questions, "It's a crapshoot. Do your best and pray."

But my mother in law was right. Get to know your kids, study them, work to understand them, and then help them remember that they are unique individuals with God-given talents and gifts.

There, that's it. My parenting advice. The result of failing and succeeding as a parent.

Good luck!