Your call is important to us.......

 

No, no it isn't. You as a customer are not important to them. Don't believe a word of it. 

I spent 3 hours on the phone with our cell phone carrier this afternoon trying to add two numbers to our business account. 

The right hand does not only not know what the left hand is doing, it doesn't even know there is a left hand! I was helped, rerouted, and dropped, called back, and rerouted over and over again. 

There is a different department for everything you need to do and those different departments are all only within a certain demographic of either business, regular customer, premium business, etc. Unfortunately for me, I needed to switch between two different demographics. One didn't know what to do, supervisors were contacted, I was rerouted to another individual who did something else, then sent me on to another demographic. In the mean time I'm disconnected.  

The kicker was I wanted to pay a bill for an account that was not mine. How often does this happen? Apparently a great deal because you can't pay someone else's bill without their permission, which has to be done in person, (them on the phone). 

I am trying to give you money. I explained this repeatedly. It didn't seem to compute with any of them, I finally began to express my frustration with the whole process and low and behold things began to happen. When I explained that I had been on the phone, literally for hours, things REALLY picked up. 

These are the things that make customers jump ship and change carriers. 

Needless to say, they didn't ask me to take the survey at the end of the call. 

Just a Recorder - Not a writer

I have a friend who is author. She writes books, gets them published and sells them. 

I had another friend who, before her death, also wrote short stories, article for periodicals and was working on a book. 

I am not not a author, nor a writer. I am a recorder of sorts. I record things that happen to me, my family and sometimes, with their permission, friends. I write down my thoughts, though not profound, I warrant them enough so to record them so I can go back and reread them at a later time. 

I will warn you right now though, that many of my thoughts are on the Biblical Christian side of things. Take this as you will, leave right now, but don't say you haven't been warned. 

This is my first post in four years. 

That's right----- four years. 

I couldn't believe it myself but it's true. I admit during that time I got caught up in social media; Facebook, Instagram, and others. But they have all lost their luster. Or I should say have lost the connectiveness that I had enjoyed when it first began. 

Keeping in touch with friends on a daily, weekly basis, seeing their families was a really wonderful thing. However, along with it came the arguments that seemed to grow worse with each election, and subsequent  elected official. 

I began to notice that less and less folks were actually posting about their families as horror stories of pictures of children were showing up on child porn sights. Privacy, though lost was grappled for yet again. Unfortunately, it was already lost. If its out there, it's anyone's. I have always seen myself as such an insignificant person in the millions out there that I never really felt threatened, but hearing the horror stories, I began to par back as well. 

The social media has become a place for nothing more than opinions being expressed and arguments being started, and really while everyone is shouting, no one is really even listening....  

Thus, I am back to the blogging. It's very likely that no one will see it, and that's fine, but I've always preferred talking to myself anyway. ;)

So here is my first post in 4 years and we will hope for many more to follow. 

 As I continue to read books and listen to books, I realize that the Holy Spirit is the only way we are ever going to be prepared for the battle that lies ahead. 

I know how the prophets felt. They got it. They understood it and they stood and screamed it, lived it, and acted it out for all to see, and still, people ignored them and continued to walk blindly off the cliff. 

God was using them to get people to listen, to repent and turn to Him, love Him, follow Him, to tell them that Jesus was coming! They wouldn't listen. There were those that did, and they made it into the book. There were probably those that did but didn't make it into the book. 

God loves us. 

God wants a relationship with us. 

That's it. Because we haven't read scripture and know the word of God, we don't have the first clue on how to have a relationship with God. We Don't KNOW! 

We don't know how to have a relationship with other people, let alone God. One thing I do know from reading the Bible is that those who had the kind of relationships with God that I want, Daniel, the prophets, the apostles, and others, they prayed. They sought God, all the time, every spare minute. They loved Him so much that every spare minute they had, and some not so spare, they spent in his presence, and reading His word. 

They functioned in the world, but the relationship with Christ came first. FIRST!!

My life will have to change. If I want God and the relationship that I've played at all my life, it is gonna have to change. 

May God Help me! 

 This has now become a diary. 

It is no longer public in any way shape or form. I will not be sharing my thoughts with the internet, the world, or whoever reads this. 

I need a place to write and put down my thoughts, and if no one else ever reads them I'm so totally alright with that. 

I just finished an audiobook, something I never thought I'd ever use, but am finding quite useful, and I am reminded of 2009 when our world, my world changed and turned completely upside down.  

Doesn't matter what the name of the book is. I could have written parts if not all of it. Not the back story, her's was terrible. UGH! But the lessons learned were mine too. 

There is no way on earth that I can ever believe that God will leave us as we are anymore than I know from reading the old testament that he would leave the Israelites in the desert. 

What I am having trouble with is how to navigate what I know God want's for us, and what I'm living with and in. 

You can tell people, they can read the same books, but until the Holy Spirit brings them to it and through it, it just simply isn't going to take. IT ISN'T!!! 

Prayer is something God has been speaking to me about for years. And he is teaching me about it now too. I'll never know it all, but the importance of it, the paramount importance of it, is something that the church, the home, the family, and anything Christian has left out. 

I am constantly looking at situations in the world I live in, and asking myself, why if we are Jesus' disciples and witnesses here, if we say we believe and follow are we so impotent in the Spiritual warfare that is thrust upon us every moment of every day. 

Are we presumptuous like the Israelites were in Ai? I think we are. I know that Biblical ignorance, arrogance, and pride, keep the Spirit of God from being able to work. 

I grow weary of the battle because I am not prepared for the battle. I have not trained for the battle. I have not studied battle strategy, I have not devoted myself to the preparation of the gospel. 

I am thinking about this and praying about this, and hoping with all my heart, that God can lift me up out of this funk I have been in for the last 13 years. 

Battles rage. I'm standing on the outside watching people go down with the ship. 

What is wrong with us.......ALL OF US!!! 

I haven't posted on here in a looooooong time......

Why? you ask?

Because of Facebook. I'll be honest, and admit that I get more instant gratification from Facebook than from blogging. Or I used to.

Used to be you could voice an opinion on Facebook, and share your thought on Facebook, and post things that were funny to you and no one cared if they didn't find them funny. But it isn't that way anymore. Over the past few years since the 2016 election, life has changed drastically and is more mean spirited and angry than I remember it ever being before. I don't have the freedom to do much on Facebook except family pictures or family news without it being misconstrued or misinterpreted. I get called out, told it isn't true, criticized, and reprimanded for voicing my opinion or thoughts. Everything has become so political, and ugly. Some folks, ONLY share political posts. If it were not virtual but real life they would be walking around carrying a picket sign like at a protest ALL. THE. TIME. Others are super spiritual where they post Biblical quotes or spiritual quotes, and then turn right around and post stuff that is so ugly or harsh, you wonder if they have been hacked.

That is human nature I have come to understand, and let 99% of it slide. I post very little to nothing, because of that. I follow certain groups that encourage me, and relate to my hobbies, but nothing more.

But I do have thoughts and feelings about certain things, and I am getting to an age where holding a pen and writing everything down in a journal like I used to do brings pain to my fingers, so I'm going to use this blog as a journal; no one reads it anyway.

Right now in our nation we are going through a pandemic and Facebook and every other social media site, including news sites are full of the Corona Virus opinions, news, lies, fabrications, etc. Our nation is shut down. Since the middle of March, there is nothing happening.....nothing. All sports, including professionals, are closed down. Schools have been canceled since spring break, with virtual school going on online for the kids at home. Businesses are closed down, restaurants are closed, people who can, are working from home and a new term called "social distancing" is referring to maintaining a 6 ft distance from anyone and everyone if you have to be out and about. Certain businesses are being deemed "essential" and some of those are ludicrous. You can't go to church, but you can buy liquor, have an abortion, or go to Walmart or Home Depot, or Lowes, or Sams or Costo. The small businessman is dying and the big box stores are raking it in. Amazon is overwhelmed with at-home orders of everything to the point that there is no longer two-day shipping; you get it when you get it.

This isn't just in the United States. It's worldwide. Millions have died. Millions more are sick and have recovered. But what started in China has spread around the world, and is now a worldwide pandemic.

It is heated, and I mean protests, fights, etc. that are breaking out because many believe that this is a politically motivated issue used to keep our current president from being re-elected.
Whether it is or not. Three men right here in our city are currently in the hospital fighting for their lives.

Roger and I have had little change in our lives. Rog is able to continue to work, and earn a living. Paul is able to continue to work and earn a living. Nic continues to work and earn a living and he and Leah's kids continue to go back and forth between parents and do their school online.

I am so very thankful to God for this fact. So many have been laid off, lost jobs, and are struggling to pay rent, buy food, and live.

The future is unsure, as the Center for Disease, and World Health Organization seem to be running the show, unless our government leaders go against what is advised. Some are, some are not.

Schools might resume in the fall, but how, exactly, is uncertain. They know they can't pack 40 kids into a classroom sitting right next to each other and do group activities, and share materials. The teacher's minds are about to explode with the recommendations that are being made and parents are getting up in arms as to what they are going to do with their children if they are released to return to work, but their kids can't return to school.

The face of our country is going to change, of the world. Some say this is all in preparation for the one-world government that is waiting in the wings to be implemented when Trump is out of office.

I'm old enough that I don't care. If I get it and die, I'm ready to go and look forward to being with Jesus. Roger feels the same. We consume very little, our expenses are much smaller, but it is hard if you have a family, especially if you have a family and can't bring home an income.

We sit and wait. We will continue to pray and wait.

The How To's of Parenting

I don't read "how too" books anymore, especially how to books on how to raise kids or anything to do with parenthood.

Been there, done that, didn't work the way they said it would.

I don't blame the authors of said books, but I've lived long enough to know and seen enough to realize that their kids aren't my kids.

I attended a homeschooling conference one time where a father of 8 got up to speak about raising kids. His words of advice stayed with me, I just wish I would have heeded them.

He started out explaining that when his first child was born, he was sure that just after a few years, he KNEW how to raise kids. After the second kid was born, he had to adjust a little, but still felt completely confident that he knew the best way to raise kids. Then the third and fourth came along, and more adjustments till he finally realized with numbers five and six that he didn't know anything and that by the time seven and eight rolled around he was so outnumbered, he just gave it to God and did the best he could.

He did share that after 8 children, there were as many ways to raise kids as there were kids. And because each kid is different there was no tried and true way to raise children. He did share one thing that I had heard from my very wise mother-in-law and that was every child is different, and that your job as the parent is to get to know and understand your kid. End of advice.

I just wish I had heeded them instead of reading all the stupid parenting books.

Every couple is different. Two different family dynamics come into play in a marriage, then add to the mix children from those two individuals and it's anybody's guess just what you're going to get.

Parenthood is a mystery that you have to solve. Or as I remind my daughter when she calls asking me a barrage of questions, "It's a crapshoot. Do your best and pray."

But my mother in law was right. Get to know your kids, study them, work to understand them, and then help them remember that they are unique individuals with God-given talents and gifts.

There, that's it. My parenting advice. The result of failing and succeeding as a parent.

Good luck!

Technology vs. books

My sister Anita shared a book with me a while back, an actual book. Not on Kindle or Nook, but an actual book with pages you turn and a spine. It had been quite awhile since I'd read an actual book. Most of my books are downloaded onto my kindle. 

This is the world we live in today, to save trees from having to be used in making paper, we have resorted to reading books on our technological devices.

It has it's perks, believe me. When Roger and I received our kindles years ago, the virtues of electronic reading devices were explained to us, and we like them so much that at Christmas this year I even bought Roger and upgraded version of the Kindle. I wrote about it here.

However, holding a book and reading it the other evening made me miss books; page turning, laying them down in an open position to come back too. The smell, the touch. Made me want to run right out and buy actual copies of many of the books I have on my shelves.

I have to admit that if I am in a used bookstore and find a book that I have on the Kindle that I especially liked, I buy it.

I've read enough doomsday material to know that when and if the end comes in my lifetime, an EMP will take out all of our technology and we will be thrust back into "the dark ages" (hardly), or as some consider them, where we will have to go back to living lives without cell phones, computers, and any and most technology. Yes, like when we were growing up if you're over a certain age. 

How in the world will we read books? That's right, the old-fashioned way.

I like my kindle app on my IPad, and I love having at my fingertips, thousands of books that I can carry with me anywhere I can take my IPad. I love being able to read at night when the only light in the room is the faint glow of my IPad. I think the Kindle and Nook, and other such devices are a blessing. But I do miss being able to share my books with folks who might not have Kindle, or Nook or whatever. In the past few months, I have read several books that I would have loved to share with others, by handing them my copy, but alas, I have no actual copy to share. 

The dilemma in that is sometimes my books don't get returned, even though there is a sticker or return address label in the front reminding the borrower just who's book it is. But when I loan a book, I know that it is a possibility that it might not get returned. Thus, it is nice to have the backup copy on my Kindle. 

For when you can take a book and place it in someone's hand, the possibility of them actually reading it increases over them just being told to look it up and read it....I'd say it seldom is followed through on.

I'll keep buying books on both my Kindle and actual books.

I love rooms with bookshelves lined with books; libraries I believe they used to be called. There is something comforting in having row upon row of books at my disposal, and I do.

I have how-to books, something that is rare these days with the invention of Google and Wikipedia. You can search the internet and get an answer to any question, you can even go to YouTube and see how it is done....but I still like my books. 

Fortunately, we don't have to make a definitive choice yet, and I'm hoping I'm long gone when that day comes because I wouldn't want to. So in the meantime, I'll have the best of both worlds.

America's Pastor

"Andrea, Billy Graham is on channel 12."

My grandmother would call everytime a Billy Graham crusade was televised in our area reminding my mother and me to watch it.....and ultimately hoping and praying for my salvation.

I did hear Billy Graham preach in person. In 1972 at the Cotton Bowl in Denton TX. at Expo '72. He was everything you can imagine him. Yet, all you saw and heard was how much God and Jesus loved you and wanted you to come to a personal relationship with Him.

Billy Graham died today.

America's pastor, they called him.

My first thought was the verse in 1 Samuel 25:1
 

"Then Samuel died, and all the Israelites gathered together to mourn him,

 and buried him at his home in Ramah."  

We may not gather together physically as a nation, but emotionally and spiritually we will gather in heart and mind and spirit and mourn a great man of God.

I likened him to the great men of God in Scripture. A disciple who did exactly what Jesus told them to do in Mark 16:15,

"Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation." 

The simple message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ: 

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. 

For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him." John 3:16-17 

He stressed over and over that God loved us and if we would turn from our sins and come to Him, He forgives and saves. 

 "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved." - Acts 16:31 

"Repent for the kingdom of Heaven is at hand!" -- Matt 3:2

Somewhere along the way we have minimized the idea that God loves us so much that Jesus, His only son, died for us. Think about it. Has anyone ever stood in your place for anything? Notch it up and realize Christ died for YOU--for you. He loves you that much. 

This past week 17 individuals died in a school shooting in Florida. One of the teachers literally threw himself in front of the shooter and took several bullets to keep kids from getting shot. He died. That's what Jesus did. He died in our place. What a perfect example...

"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." --John 15:13 

Help us Lord, to realize the love of Almighty God -- whose love endures forever-- our compassionate and merciful God. Help us to love you like that.  

Googling for Spiritual Answers.

I have wondered all my life why I am the way I am; judgemental, hypercritical, unkind, phoney-what is it that makes me this way exactly. Moreover, for having professed Christianity for the largest portion of my life - why can't I change, be delivered from this sin that so easily besets me?

One day while I was making our bed, and bitching and bellyaching to no one in particular, AGAIN, about my husband and kids, etc. It hit me. I sat down on the edge of the bed and googled the question "Why am I so critical and judgemental?"

The top link lead to a page from Psychology Today about being this way because you have been raised in a hypercritical environment. As I read on, it described me to a tee. (This also makes me think that there must be a LOT of other's out there that struggled with this).

The term hypercritical environment was something I had to do more digging into, and when I did, it was also spot on.

When a child grows up in an overly critical environment it can have a damaging effect on their psyche. Overly critical parents may feel like they are just driving their children to do their best, but realistically, critical behavior leads to a negative family dynamic. It has an effect on everything from a child's creativity level to her self-esteem. 

Under this were the subheadings: Perfectionism, Anxiety, Unconditional Love, Self Esteem, 

Perfectionism: 

This creates a family dynamic in which the child is expected to perform at unrealistic levels. Psychology Today outlines the issues that come along with seeking perfectionism. The article, "Pitfalls of Perfectionism," says that perfectionism decreases creativity, innovation, and a child's desire to take risks. A child who is raised with overly critical parents is afraid to fail and disappoint her parents. According to Psychology Today, the unattainable expectations put on a child by overly critical parents serves only to increase her negative inner dialogue.

Anxiety:

According to the site Children with Anxiety, a child needs a loving, calming environment when dealing with anxiety issues. Overly critical parents only serve to increase the stress and anxiety within a child. The site says a child can develop depression, or even mental illness if anxiety issues are not dealt with in a healthy manner. A child who has anxiety issues needs parental guidance that does not include stressful criticism, and second-guessing of every move he makes. Children with Anxiety points out that dealing with anxiety is a family issue, not just the child's issue.

Unconditional Love: 

Hypercritical parenting can result in a child feeling she has to earn her parents' love. Dr. Benzion Sorotzkin, psychotherapist, says a child with overly critical parents grows up feeling she has to achieve enough in order to earn the love of her parents. Due to the negative nature of a critical family environment, the child feels she does not receive unconditional love. Sorotzkin explains, in a healthy home a child knows they are loved, even when they do not meet her parents' standards. She knows love is not tied to achievement. In hypercritical households, a child grows up feeling parental love is something that is dangling like a carrot on a string, and until she does enough to earn it, she is not loved. Sorotzkin says this leads to later issues with self-esteem, negative parental relationships and perfectionism.

Self Esteem: 

Children develop self-esteem as they grow and learn to value themselves. According to Kids Health, a child who lives in an overly critical environment internalizes the critical dialogue she hears from her parents. This lowers self-esteem and can lead to depression, says Kids Health. The children's health site advises parents to be supportive and nurturing with children. A child who learns to love and accept herself even when she fails, will develop healthy self-esteem. A child needs to see from her parents that even when she is not perfect, she is worthy and loved. This will help her believe in herself and increase her self-esteem. 

Having grown up in this kind of a household was the insight into all my issues of being so incredibly critical. 

I had lived my entire life in such an environment. The problem was, I lived with a man who had not. Actually, that wasn't a problem, it was a huge blessing. But how to change, how to come out of years, a lifetime of this was hard to figure out. 

I Googled again. I don't remember the question that I asked "the box of knowledge" as Audrey calls it, but out of all the information that it came up with, only one had a spiritual answer and that was what I was looking for. Basically, I was looking for how to balance what I had growing up with what I professed to be and with the God I believe in. I found the perfect answer. 

You can read it here  

But the jest of it was that by focusing on the faults and fallacies of other people, you negate the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  

Just like that I was shown what my years and life of criticizing others was a direct slap in God's face at my lack of faith in Him to change, deliver, restore and redeem people. 

Where was my faith in the God I believed in. 

About this time I also started reading a book by Anne Graham Lotz called the Daniel Prayer, which I will write more on later, but suffice to say the combination of the questions and the book, my life and outlook has changed drastically. 

Don't ever be afraid to dig. And if you use the internet and Google, and pray before you do it, I won't doubt that God will lead you to exactly where he wants you to be.   

I had prayed about this problem and God answered by leading me to what he wanted me to know. He is still leading.... I'm so thankful. 

Ending and Beginning

The Family 2017

I'm getting ready to do the Christmas letter for 2017, and I look at my blog and realize that I haven't posted anything on here since last Christmas.....

I haven't lost interest in blogging, but with Facebook, Instagram, Snap Chat and Marco Polo, blogs are actually becoming obsolete, or out of date, etc. I'm on facebook way to much as it is, and I do write, but it is in my journals, with a pen and paper. 

I've become somewhat disenchanted with facebook over the past year; the election had much to do with that. So I've looked for other ways to stay in touch and haven't really found any. On facebook, people share what others have already shared, or are posting memes that are not theirs, but no one else's. I guess what I'm seeing is a lot of non-original posting. Facebook has become like a telephone; you have it to keep in touch when you want to, or to promote, or advertise, or sell, but not to actually reveal anything too personal because those that do that are hailed as advertising TMI (to much information).  

So I am returning to my blog. 

Here I'll write my posts, and share my thoughts. I'll share things of my family, and I'll only put out there what pertains to me and mine. If people want to know whats going on with me, they can find me here. 

So here is my family. Our daughter and our son, with their spouses, and their little's. We are not to spread out. We are here and there, and yon, but every once and while, we get together and play and have fun, and laugh a lot. Life is very good; VERY good. 

Christmas 2016

Merry Christmas!!

Getting ready for the Christmas letter always means getting to review the year in pictures. Here are a few of our highlights. 

Roger and I, besides doing all the normal routine stuff we usually do, in anticipation of our 40th wedding anniversary coming up in January, took a trip to the Oregon coast in Sept. Mountains, forests, the ocean, good food, excellent company; it was perfect 

Audrey and Paul are still residing in Goodyear Arizona, continuing to work in the nuclear industry. They were home for a couple of visits this year with the latest at Thanksgiving where they brought the wonderful news that they will be parents in May of 2017!! Which of course means we are getting a NEW GRANDBABY!!!! Yes we are a little excited. 

Nicolas & Melissa continue to live right up the road and around the corner. Melissa graduated in May with her BSRN and is working in Topeka at Stormont Vail Regional Medical Center. We are so proud of her! 

Nicolas continues to work with Roger with working on houses to rent or flip. He is in constant motion. 

Sam graduated from Pre-School in May the same weekend his mama graduated from college. He has started Kindergarten at Lebo Elementary.  

We wish you all the best of the coming year and a most blessed holiday Season!

Roger & Andrea  

Who's gonna throw that first stone?

So, Lifeway Christian bookstores are refusing to carry Jen Hatmaker’s books anymore because they say she is supporting the gay lifestyle.

I read what she wrote. I saw where she is supportive of those in the gay lifestyle, I support and love those in the gay lifestyle as well, but not because they are gay. Except at the end where she said that gay relationships could be holy. THAT I differ with her on. But not because they are gay.

Because sin, any sin, Jen, can’t be holy. Nope, just won’t work. 

Homosexuality is a sin, just like lying, gossip, malic, cheating, anger, hatred, selfishness, murder, adultery, stealing, fornication, coveting……….and the list goes on.

We like to categorize sin however, some sins are worse than others we tell ourselves.

 Nope, ALL have sinned.

And don’t tell me that because homosexuals continue in their sin that is the problem. What about those of us that sit in the pew every Sunday that are addicted to food, alcohol, pornography, working out, spending money we don’t have, gossiping at work, complaining and being bitter every day. That would cover most of the people I know. Doesn’t that have to stop? Everyone has failures in their lives that they continue to do Every. Single. Day. If someone followed you around for a day, just what do you do daily that would be sin? Discipline is the issue for most of us, but doesn’t that fall under lack of self-control? That's listed as a sin too. We all struggle with that.

My mother in law was confined to a wheelchair for over 30 years. Being the wife of a preacher put her in situations many times where people where offering to pray for her to be healed. She related to me that one time when a group of folks gathered around her wanting to pray for her healing, she told them: 

“All of us need healing. Emotional, Spiritual, Mental, and Physical. Mine is just outward where you can see it. But just because you can’t see the sickness in others doesn’t mean that they don’t need you to pray for their healing just as much as I do.” 

I loved my mother in law. Wise woman.

The story of the woman caught in adultery comes to mind. Who is “without sin”, and able to cast the first stone.  MERCY!!!

Sin is sin. Paul wrote that “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” People use the “all” when it suits them, but they don’t stop to think about the glory; and falling short.

Who is God that he deserves the Glory? He is Holy. A Holy God deserves all the glory we can give him. But we fall short. Perhaps we are more focused on the sinner and the sin, than who they are really sinning against.

In the story of the adulterous woman Jesus directed everyone’s attention back to who it was who was REALLY being offended by the adulterous woman’s sin, and it wasn’t anyone in the crowd, and Jesus didn’t stone her.

We all have fallen short, and are all sick and in need of healing. We are all failing in our lives in one way or another. When you throw your sin in my face, and tell me you don’t care and you will continue in that choice, yes, I am going to tell you you are wrong, not because of your particular sin. Not because I’m perfect. But because God is a Holy God.

We are exhorted to restore and be gentle in the exhortation of those who have lost their focus on God. And that is what it is. When someone has lost their focus on our Holy God, a God of love, compassion, and mercy, we are supposed to be sign posts, and helpers to lead them back.  

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. ³ If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Gal 6:1-3

It is my job to love you, and encourage you, even admonish you, to not look at the wind and waves about you but to look to Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith. The one who, because we fall short came to save us. He is the author and perfecter of my faith as well. My weak, failing, banged up faith that I work daily to strengthen at the foot of his cross.

 I’ll go there with you, fellow failure, and we will seek to give our Holy God the glory He is due. And we will seek the healing that only He can give.

May God have mercy on us.......

A servant

I have a framed quote on my kitchen window sill by Dr. David Jeremiah that reads:

“You can tell if you have a servants’ heart by the way you feel when someone treats you like one.”

As I read different accounts in scripture of those whose names we know and are familiar with in the scriptures – Joseph, David, Moses, etc. I am struck by the part played, vital parts – by “a servant.”

Joseph:

^“9 Then the chief butler spoke to Pharaoh, saying: “I remember my faults this day. ¹⁰ When Pharaoh was angry with his servants, and put me in custody in the house of the captain of the guard, both me and the chief baker, ¹¹ we each had a dream in one night, he and I. Each of us dreamed according to the interpretation of his own dream. ¹² Now there was a young Hebrew man with us there, a servant of the captain of the guard. And we told him, and he interpreted our dreams for us; to each man he interpreted according to his own dream. ¹³ And it came to pass, just as he interpreted for us, so it happened. He restored me to my office, and he hanged him.”

¹⁴ Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they brought him quickly out of the dungeon; and he shaved, changed his clothing, and came to Pharaoh.” – Genesis 41:9-14

David:

¹⁸ Then one of the servants answered and said, “Look, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a mighty man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a handsome person; and the Lord is with him.” 

Jesus: 

 9 When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. 

There are others that appear in scripture briefly to play their part and literally to turn the tide of the events or the story. There are many times in scripture where a life changing event is precipitated on the word of “a servant”.  We never know their names, where they come from, or what becomes of them after their brief part in the particular story, but the outcome of the story, the rest of the person’s life is affected by that one “servant”. 

Jesus was and is referred to in scripture as “a servant” – THE servant who turned the tide of events for all of us.

Don’t balk at being a servant – their roles were instrumental in God’s plan……      

Broken

The broken…..we are all broken. 

Some of us are just a functioning broken, others; can’t function.

The problem is, I’m a fixer. I want to fix the broken, and when I can’t fix, I look away, I avoid, I ignore.

I remember being young, thinking that I could fix the broken ones, get involved, help, time, money, space, involvement, and on and on and on…….

But I am tired and weary of the sea of brokenness that is washing up and into my life all around me every day, no matter where I am or where I go. Church, school, shopping, eating out, Facebook.

Again, we are all broken, some functioning broken, others unable to function. Some choosing not to function.

I was taught to function, no matter the level or degree of brokenness. I was pointed toward a light, a place, someone who I was told ultimately fixed brokenness.

Others didn’t get the memo.

I find myself trying to discern between stages of brokenness these days. Is it self-inflicted? —no time for that nonsense. Or is it a natural brokenness?

Wait………. brokenness is broken.

It all comes from the same place, and it isn’t self-inflicted. It is inflicted, but not by self.

I’m making myself remember who is responsible for the brokenness in the world, and that helps put things in perspective.

I am still graphically aware that I cannot “fix” brokenness, but I haven’t forgotten the place of light where there is someone who can. I just need to remember to take them to Him.

²⁸ “Come to Me, all ^[a]who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 10:28

He is the burden bearer, the fixer. He is the only one who can transform, repair, or “fix” anyone. 

Who do you think Jesus is?

“I'm glad you guys are doing this, because there are so many people out there who are afraid to go into a church. And they look at church people as though they are perfect or think they are perfect. And they need to understand that after we come to Christ we are all still sinners, we are all still failures, that they aren’t any different than we are.”

This was the beginning of Chances’ sermon yesterday as he shared a story of an individual who lauded our starting a church outside a church setting and why. 

The sermon went on to talk at length about the interpretation of scripture that we are not still sinners after we have accepted Christ as our Savior. 

Roger and I discussed this for quite some time immediately following the service, and even later into the day. The entire sermon was preached out of the book of Jude, next to the last book of the Bible right before Revelation. 

After discussing the topic, I circled back around to the initial conversation and told Roger that I would have looked at the man making the statement and asked him, “Well, who do you think Christ is?” the question behind the question being, "Don't you think Christ, the Jesus of the scriptures is more than enough to conquer your sin? He died for it after all. And rose from the dead. Let's talk about THAT Jesus." 

First of all, his entire statement shows his disappointment with the church overall, but also his misunderstanding of who Jesus Christ is. Not an uncommon malady in today’s society, where I find more people base their belief in Jesus on what others have told them, television shows or movies they have watched, or books they have read rather than God’s word…. the Bible or better yet, real experience gleaned from a personal relationship with Christ.

When the question I would have asked him came to mind, I thought of the scripture in the book of Colossians.

¹³ For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

¹⁵ The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. ¹⁶ For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. ¹⁷ He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. ¹⁸ And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.¹⁹ For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, ²⁰ and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

²¹ Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of^[g] your evil behavior. ²² But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— ²³ if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

This is Jesus. God through Him has accomplished it all. There is nothing He can’t and hasn’t done, and won’t do for us, as His followers and children. It has all been accomplished by God, through His Son, Jesus Christ.

But listening to the message yesterday, the emphasis was once again not placed on Jesus and who HE is, but on us, and who we are and continue to be after claiming to be Christians.……

The story of Peter wanting to walk on water came to mind.

²² Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³ After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, ²⁴ and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

²⁹ “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

When people are told to look to themselves to find their strength, tenacity, motivation, desire, anything other than Christ, they are being told to look at the wind, the waves. Not at Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.

^2 [a]fixing our eyes on Jesus, the ^[b]author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

³ For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary ^[c]and lose heart.

Dr. R.C. Sproul wrote in Table talk magazine several years back in an article entitled, “Preaching Christ” the following:

“If we take time to examine the sermons of the apostles that are recorded in the book of Acts, we see a somewhat common and familiar structure to them. In this analysis, we can discern the apostolic kerygma, the basic proclamation of the gospel. Here the focus in the preaching was on the person and work of Jesus. The gospel itself was called the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel is about Him; it involves the proclamation and declaration of what He accomplished in His life, in His death, and in His resurrection. After the details of His death, resurrection, and ascension to the right hand of God were preached, the apostles called the people to be converted to Christ — to repent of their sins and receive Christ by faith.

When we seek to extrapolate from these examples how the apostolic church did evangelism, we must ask: What is appropriate for the transfer of apostolic principles of preaching to the contemporary church? Some churches believe that a person is required to preach the gospel or to communicate the kerygma in every sermon preached. This view sees the emphasis in Sunday morning preaching as one of evangelism, of proclaiming the gospel. Many preachers today, however, say they are preaching the gospel on a regular basis when in some cases they have never preached the gospel at all, because what they call the gospel is not the message of the person and work of Christ and how His accomplished work and its benefits can be appropriated to the individual by faith. Rather, the gospel of Christ is exchanged for therapeutic promises of a purposeful life or having personal fulfillment by coming to Jesus. In messages such as these, the focus is on us rather than on Him.”

If you continue to tell people to focus on themselves, their lives, faults, shortcomings, and watch the wind and the water, they will continue to drown, but if they keep watching Jesus, learning who He was, is and is to come, they will not only walk on water, but become the fishers of men that Jesus told us to be.

Where is the focus, the emphasis? On ourselves, or on Jesus?  

Who do you think Jesus is?

Because your answer to that question is going to impact everything else in your life.

Quilting........an inherited trait.....obviously.

Back during the depression when my Grandparents were raising 7 children on a farm in south central Kansas, my Mother was around 9 or 10 years of age. She made some quilt blocks. I'm thinking that this is something her Mother probably gave her to do to keep her occupied and busy. That would have been around 1928 or 1929.

When we were preparing to move mother, we discovered them in a box. Mother's reaction, "Oh, those are so old, you probably should just throw them out." I did not.

Mother has been gone almost 9 years, and I found those blocks when I was going through fabric several months back.

Things have changed a great deal in the quilting world since Mother was a little girl, and many, many quilts are being made out of what used to be deemed "unsuitable" fabrics. With the advent of stabilizers; a type of interface you iron on that gives the too thin, too stretchy, fabric stability, quilts are being made out of satin, silks, tee shirts, etc.; even very thin frail muslin.

I knew I could make a little quilt with them, even though I knew it would be strictly ornamental, a keepsake.

Here is the finished result.

I'm thrilled with it, and plan to hang it in my office.

The Cross of Christ

(I originally wrote this June 8, 2015) 

So I’ve been reading a great deal about the homosexual issue that is sweeping the country right now.

After reading in an article from the New York Times today where several pastors and even some heads of prominent Christian organizations are meeting to map out their strategy on how to deal with the ruling once it comes down from the Supreme Court, and where those opposed to homosexuality are meeting with those in favor of, I was left scratching my head.

I read the Bible a lot. I read the gospels a lot. What I see happening here resembles the sessions the Pharisee and Sadducee's had behind closed doors when trying to rid themselves of Jesus.

And before you jump ahead of me here, and think I am likening the LG community to Jesus, let me be clear. 

It wasn’t Jesus that bothered the leadership of the church so much as it was what he represented.

A power they couldn’t control. 

Miracles, deliverance’s from demons, resurrections from the dead, and worst of all, forgiveness from sin. They said it themselves, “Only God can forgive sins!” 

And they knew that they had come face to face with God. Like the Old Testament Israelites who begged Moses to stand in the gap for them, these folks didn’t really want to come face to face with God either.  

Over the past few years I have been wondering and praying about the impotence I see in people who call themselves followers, disciples of Christ. Let’s face it Christians, especially in America, according to statistics, don’t really differ in behavior or lifestyle from those who claim no faith. What has happened to the power of God in the church that has left the leadership scrambling for a position on what has become such a polarizing issue? 

I’m not a theologian, nor a pastor, but I’m a failure at being a follower and disciple of Christ more often than not. And after proclaiming myself to be a follower for better part of 50 plus years, I’m desirous to know why there seems to be this gap between what we say, and what we do, how we live, how we choose…….

That is what made me realize that all this posturing about Gay and Lesbian issues are simply a symptom of something that the church is still afraid of.

The Power of God through the Holy Spirit.

I know, you mention the word “spirit” and people immediately look at you like you have grown a second head, step back, and brace themselves for an onslaught of an “unknown tongue”.

As I read scripture, especially the gospels and the book of Acts I am struck with the power of the Holy Spirit. What ordinary, everyday, common people were able to accomplish for God’s glory.

Has God shrunk? Has His power diminished?

Even in the old testament there example after example of situations from the Red Sea on and even before where the impossible becomes possible. And it had nothing to do with man’s power and everything to do with God’s power.

I think the thing that the church is really afraid of is having its power exposed for what it really is; counterfeit.

We lead people to Christ, and promise them free grace, and some even tell stories of abundance and blessing and profound joy and happiness. But somewhere in the telling, we fail to lead them to the foot of the cross of Christ. Somewhere in the invitation, we leave out the price of the ticket.

I had noticed this several years before at a service where an altar call was given, but no one had to leave their seats. Just raise their hands while everyone else’s eyes were closed and heads were bowed. Easy enough. Salvation becomes a secret that we keep from the rest of the world, even those who are most anxious to share in what should be the most monumental life changing time of our lives. If we can’t share our faith in the house of faith, what has happened to us? How will be possibly ever be able to share it out in the world?

It starts at the foot of the cross. Where there was anguish, and sorrow, and pain beyond description. Where the innocence of heaven came full force against the evil wickedness of sin.

We desire others to know Christ, but we fail them when we reduce that moment to short prayer where the promise of heaven is given without the power of God to enable them to get there is prayed for as well.

Anyone I know who has walked this sod after believing in Jesus as their Savior and Lord for any length of time will tell you that following Jesus can sometimes be the hardest thing they have ever done, and if we don’t take people to the foot of the cross where they can gaze upon the Savior has who made the trip for us, in whom we are crucified too, and yet no longer live, but He lives in us by the power of that Spirit, we set them up for struggles and heartache, and ultimately feeling of intense failure, if not a turning away from the God they sought, who still loves them intensely.

Where is God’s power?

The early disciples experienced it on Pentecost when the Promised Comforter (Jesus knew we would need comfort) came. After hours and days of prayer Peter preached that day taking all those in ear shot back to the cross, the injustice of it, the selfishness behind it, the pain and sorrow and led them beyond it to the empty tomb, to the power of the Spirit which awaited them that they might walk with that Savior they loved.

The Spirit was just the Christ they loved in another form. He was as present to them and with them as he had been when he walked the earth. Their fearlessness at His presence with them was evidence of the power they sensed. They prayed and acted on the assurance that the reality of the Spirit of God was there.

This was the early church.

Let’s face it. I think that we in the church are more than aware of the power of god, but it is with lowercase letters as we are afraid of the God that written in capital letters.

We are as afraid of the power of God today as the early Israelite's were in the desert of Sinai, and the Jews were in Jesus time. We know we cannot wield it, we can only humble ourselves before it, and allow it to do its work in us. We need to get on our faces like the early church, in prayer and fasting. Humbling ourselves on our knees and faces to allow the Spirit to sweep over us. Get out of his way and let Him work.

People would rather conspire, and meet, and plan but not pray, not come to the foot of the cross because there is an admittance that we are not in control. He is.

May God help us!

Hurry UP!!!

There was a time when Life wasn’t “hurry up!”

But I can’t remember when.

Generational hurrying…..that is what it is.

You push forward, and hurry. Are you running away from, getting away from something so painful you don’t want to give it time to catch you? So you keep hurrying forward, and it is generational, and you have been doing it for so long, you don’t even know why anymore, and you’ve done it for so long, that you find it hard not to………hurry up.

I know why she hurried. I know why she didn’t want to get caught; why she ran from the memories and the sorrows. They would be overwhelming, and overcoming, and heart wrenching and heartbreaking, so she kept hurrying and kept going, and didn’t look back unless she had to. And the tears and the anger they always came when she did, so she just kept moving, and busy, and hurried, and drug us along behind, until we had been trained to catch up with her, and even surpass her. And that same urgency was ingrained in us. 

I do it still.

And I don’t even know why.

When I think of “the back then”, the “behind me”, I cry too, but not so much from the sorrow, but from the hurry that blurred my vision, and robbed me of………….more than I can list.

“Time waits for no man.”  So we hurry…….

Because of this hurrying, I do not have the capacity to see so many things; I’m blind. I don’t have the capacity to hear so many things; I’m deaf. I don’t even feel so much because the senses are dulled from the speed that has propelled me forward for so long, that I can’t stop. Stopping, it actually feels so wrong I can worry myself sick with the idea of doing it.

I have so much to stop for though, to relish, to steep in, but that urge inside of me, that constant inner push is there, and I can’t make it…..STOP!! It’s a feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me feel guilty when I sit down and read in the middle of the day, or just sit outside and admire the color green, and the sounds of the birds, and the warmth. That inner churning deep down in my belly that

 WON’T. LET. ME. STOP.

If I put my feet down to slow down this ride, I’m sure they would wear right off. Then I’d be footless, which would only complicate my ability to keep moving and hurrying. It’s awful.

The rest of the world is doing it too, and to have friends, you sort of have to do it ...hurry and keep up. In so many ways, we are all hurrying and trying to keep up.

I don’t know if it is because of my time in life, or what, but I am tired of hurrying, and I grow wearier of it every day. The guilt that comes with sitting will just have to burn in my belly and my brain until it burns a hole, or goes away, cause I am finding I simply haven’t got the physical ability to hurry anymore, even though my mind is still miles and miles, if not years ahead.

My sister said she wants a brain transplant to enable us to stop….so many of those things that we are hurrying to get done, or get to. We both chuckle, because at our age, we sort of know what that might entail, and yeah, well no. But we agree, it would be good if there were a switch.

So maybe the beginning is being aware of the hurry; the rush, maybe that is where it begins to stop.

Maybe….